SURVIVOR'S GUILT REFRAMES
“could have done more? so could everyone. release it.”
The Lesson
Menu of reframes for survivor's guilt. Mechanical universe: from the Big Bang, either cause. And-effect or random-either way, you couldn't have changed it. Everything unlikely: your existence is astronomically improbable; the tragedy is just one more unlikely thing in a life full of them. For believers: God needs you for something. You were spared for a purpose. Empathy flip: the deceased would never want you to be unhappy. Permission: I'm giving you permission as another human to release it-it has no utility. 'Could have done more': this applies to literally everyone doing anything good. It's so universal it's meaningless. Release it.
Real-World Example
A founder survived a car accident that killed their co-founder. Crushing guilt. They try reframes: 'From the Big Bang, this moment was set. I couldn't have changed it.' 'Everything in my life is improbable; this is one more improbable event.' 'Would they want me paralyzed by guilt? Never.' 'Could I have done more? Yes. And so could everyone about everything.' One reframe sticks. The guilt loosens. They build the company in their co-founder's memory.
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